girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
