He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
so let's talk penis.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
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and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
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Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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