i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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