My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
