Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
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Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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