so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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