I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
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I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
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If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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