so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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