I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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