We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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