I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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