Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
