Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
