Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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