Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
