me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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