Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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