No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
