as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
