His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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