Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
time to smoke my breakfast
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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