K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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