it hurts more in the daytime
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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