porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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