i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
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Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
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I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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