You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
