Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
