Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
