Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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