I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
