I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
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This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
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Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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