im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Just cropdusted the office
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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