i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
