i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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