i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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