Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
