end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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