party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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