Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
