I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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