there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
