She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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