I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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