what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
