I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
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