i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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