CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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