what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize