actually, I'm a sock model
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
