Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize