wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Randomize
