I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I use my feet as sexual weapons
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
