Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
