HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
