Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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