she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
