Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I looked at my own cervix.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
