this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
