pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
