I showed him my bush... on skype.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He shit in the fireplace
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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