DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize