I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
bring money and cleavage
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
