I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
