The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
