I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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