I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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