I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
